January 8, 2015

From Jim McGuiggan... Why do we get married?


Why do we get married?

Why do we get married? There’s more than one good answer and there are a lot of bad answers. "I got married because I got (or got her) pregnant and under the circumstances there was little choice." "I couldn’t stand my parents any longer." "My parents didn’t want me around any more." "Well, it’s what you do, isn’t it?" "I thought it would be best for the children." "It was expected of us." "Because the Bible says that’s the only way sex is to happen."
It’s no news that for many people marriage has become a matter of taste—like the extra potato, you either want it or you don’t. There are lots of things to consider like, what if we don’t get along after a while? We’d have to go through that whole divorce thing. Ugh. And we’ve heard it destroys the pleasure of sex and puts love in a straightjacket, romance and spontaneity dies. The popular song of some years back put it in perspective—Gentle on my Mind. He likes his freedom so he leaves his sleeping bag rolled up and stashed behind his girl-friend’s (or wife’s) couch as he sips from this relationship or that before free-wheeling out of town to somewhere else. "It’s knowing I’m not shackled by forgotten words and bonds, and the ink stains that have dried upon some line." Ah there it is, that’s the life, free as a bird with no obligation other than to fulfil the current urge you feel inside. And when that urge wears old drift until another comes to you. The world and life is a warehouse of possible experiences and we’re here for no other reason than to get our fill. Marriage only gets in the way. And these days in the UK, thanks to successive governments who say they are "committed to the family," it’s financially wiser to "live together" (and even financially wiser to pretend you’re unmarried) than to get married.
George Eliot in a bitter essay made much of the fact that popular preachers didn’t have to know a lot, that they were woefully ignorant of so much that goes with living. I’m sure she had a point. But these days I look at the wise heads in government and wonder how on earth they could become so blind and ignorant. As Samuel Johnston said of an acquaintance of his, "Such excess of stupidity, Sir, is not in nature."
Why do Christians get married? Well, in point of fact many of us choose not to get married and provided our motivation is not sheer selfishness that's all right with God too. Paul deals with all manner of marital questions in 1 Corinthians 7 but I’m completely satisfied that the early verses are a defense of a Christian’s right not to get married. I’m persuaded that there were those who, believing that "it is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18), were insisting that it is not right to remain unmarried. Paul’s opening remarks defends the single person’s right to choose to be single and even tells us that the capacity to be chaste and unmarried is a gift of God. He urges the advantages of chaste singleness throughout the chapter.
But for those who do get married: it’s hardly surprising that those who make no claim to the Christ’s don’t see their getting married as an aspect of their life before God in Jesus Christ. Why would they? But for those who are Christians it surely should be. What Christians do with their money, how they receive their food, the kind of speech that should be characteristic of them, even the way they view their sorrow (1 Thessalonians 4:13) are all to be seen in light of their relationship to God in Christ. How then should we view the covenant of marriage?
God made humans in his image as male and female (not male or female) and called their name Adam (Genesis 5:1-2). So a single male or female together reflect the divine image in humanity whether or not they are married but marriage is that covenant instituted by God that holds that truth before us as nothing else. When they marry they express in that covenant fellowship their plural unity in and before God. Their sexual pleasure in and with one another signifies the interdependence of the male and female—it says that in the other the one finds completeness and completion. Adam said of Eve, "Now [in contrast to his recognizing and naming the animals and finding no suitable mate—Genesis 2:18-20] this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh."
In marrying Christians confirm and proclaim that humans image the divine fellowship in the Godhead. In marrying, Christians recognize and proclaim God’s creation intention to bless humankind (Genesis 1:28). In marrying, Christians rehearse the redeeming work of God in Jesus Christ (Ephesians 5:21-25,29-33). In marrying, Christians commit to raising unto God children that will be witnesses in the generations to come of the redeeming work of God in Christ (Ephesians 6:4) See
When I say, "in marrying," I don’t mean just the initial act of getting married, I mean, in living out the covenant they have entered in the name of the Lord. Getting married is not just an initial act it is a commitment to lifelong fidelity and working through the challenges, the joys and hardships of life together. The more seriously we view discipleship to the Lord Christ the more carefully will we reflect on whom we will marry, the more patiently and cheerfully we will work with the pain experienced within the union and how we will view divorce.

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