http://apologeticspress.org/APContent.aspx?category=11&article=241
The Bible and Self-Esteem
No person is one-dimensional. Actually, there are three views of every
individual—the view that God has of us, the opinions that others hold
concerning us, and the perception we have of ourselves. Each of these is
quite important.
First, let us consider the divine vantage point. This is the assessment
that is accurate in every detail. The Lord does not observe people
merely outwardly, as humans tend to do; rather, “Jehovah looks on the
heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). The Lord “knows the hearts of the children of
men” (1 Kings 8:39). As the godly Hannah acknowledged in her prayer:
“Jehovah is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed” (1
Samuel 2:3). Similarly, Christ once affirmed that He did not need to be
educated regarding the inner workings of the human personality, because
He Himself “knew what was in man” (John 2:25). If some of the world’s
“beautiful people” were turned inside out, and revealed as God sees
them, how grotesque they might appear.
Second, there are the sentiments that our peers entertain regarding us.
Such assessments are only relatively accurate. Folks may hold an
opinion of us that is greatly exaggerated. Those who are in the public
eye are rather idealized at times. On the other hand, some, who are
sterling in character, sometimes are maligned unjustly. Jesus certainly
did not deserve the hateful reproaches that were heaped upon Him. And
Paul, the apostle of Christ, suffered a good deal of unmerited character
assassination.
Finally, there is that appraisal one makes of
himself. Honesty
demands that we concede that self-perception may be grossly inflated.
That is why we are cautioned not to think more highly of ourselves than
we ought (Romans 12:3). We must attempt not to be “high-minded” or “wise
in [our] own conceits” (Romans 11:20; 12:16). If we really knew the
impressions that others have of us, we might see ourselves in a totally
different light, and thus alter our conduct. The Scottish poet Robert
Burns produced a short composition titled: “To A Louse.” It pictured a
snobbish lady in church, pompously looking down her nose at others,
wholly unaware of the fact that a “louse” was upon her bonnet. The ditty
contains these lines:
O wad [would] some Power the giftie gie [give] us
To see oursels as ithers [others] see us!
It is important, though, that one have a healthy view of oneself. Jesus said that we should love our neighbor as
ourselves
(Matthew 22:39). That implies a sound concept of self-esteem. Sadly,
however, many appear to harbor a very meager appreciation of
themselves—so much so that it hinders their effective service to God,
and torments their lives with much unhappiness. We believe the
Scriptures address this problem, and offer hope to those who are
unnecessarily morose due to the malady of an impoverished self-esteem.
In this discussion, I would like to reflect primarily upon three areas:
the causes, the characteristics, and the cure for negative self-esteem.
CAUSES OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM
In a discussion of this nature one cannot be exhaustive. It is
possible, however, to pinpoint certain known sources of deprived
self-esteem. Let us consider the following factors.
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Many people have personal esteem problems due to what they perceive as unattractive physical features.
From their own viewpoint they may be too heavy, too thin, have a bad
complexion, crooked teeth, etc. More likely than not, all of us have
physical traits that we would like to alter if such were possible. But
the truth is, while physical characteristics may make an initial
impression upon others, they are subordinated rapidly to personality
qualities. Some, who are quite attractive physically, are so obnoxious
in disposition that folks are loath to be around them. Others, who are a
bit “plainer,” have tons of friends because intelligent people are
attracted to their charm, wit, compassion, or overall spiritual depth.
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Some feel badly about themselves because of their limited formal education.
But remember this: (a) Some of the wisest and most prominent people of
history were not privileged with an abundance of formal schooling.
Abraham Lincoln spent less that one year in the classroom, yet he was
recognized as a brilliant leader. (b) Some of the stupidest folks of
history have been laden with education. The expression “educated fool”
did not arise in a vacuum. (c) It is never too late to learn. Some have
acquired college degrees in their sunset years. (d) In the final
analysis, a knowledge of God’s Word is the best depository of
information that one can possess. The noted educator, William Lyon
Phelps, once said: “...I thoroughly believe in a university education
for both men and women; but I believe a knowledge of the Bible without a
college education is more valuable than a college course without the
Bible” (as quoted in Dehoff, 1956, p. 13)
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Low self-esteem may result from the tragic circumstances in
one’s past. For example, a person may have been conceived out of
wedlock, or as the result of rape, and so harbor a self-disgust. The
late Ethel Waters, a popular singer, was the offspring of a brutal rape,
yet she overcame the knowledge of that horrible event and became a
famous and gracious performer who sought to help others. Children
frequently suffer from low self-esteem because of the vile deeds of
their parents. I know a man who, in a drunken rage, murdered a popular
city official. The killer’s youngsters languished for years under the
humiliation of that brutality. A group of children, all of whom had
parents who were divorced, was discussing common problems. Several were
overheard reproaching themselves for the break-up of their families. We
must learn that we are not responsible for the wicked actions of others.
Self-reproach is unwarranted in such cases.
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Physical and/or emotional abuse can ravage one’s self-esteem.
Not infrequently a parent and/or spouse will berate a child or a
companion persistently and viciously, so that the feeling of personal
worth in the victim becomes almost nil. An uncaring husband may tell his
wife that she is ugly, fat, stupid, or lazy. A good “beating” with
words can be as devastating as physical brutality. Some children’s
psyches are damaged enormously by sexual abuse. Constant, harsh
criticism also can wound a youngster’s sense of personal pride. Victims
of abuse must learn that they can get past these horrible experiences
and find true happiness in living.
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One of the most prominent causes of low self-esteem is an involvement in personal sin.
Sin scars terribly. It is sometimes the case that one who loves God
deeply, and who strives for spiritual maturity, will, in a moment of
weakness, fall into some dreadful form of wickedness. The crushing blow
of such a transgression may have lasting effects that so debilitate the
person that he/she has a very difficult time regaining a sense of
Christian dignity, particularly if others have been privy to the
transgression. One cannot but be reminded of the agony of David’s soul
following his tragic moral lapse with Bathsheba. His body “wasted away”
and he “groaned” throughout the day. There was no relief to his troubled
spirit either day or night, until he acknowledged his sin and allowed
God to take away his pain (see Psalm 32:3-5). Yielding to evil can rob
the conscience of that sense of well-being God intended us to have. But
there is a remedy for sin that allows one the opportunity to recapture
his sense of joy and purpose. I will discuss that presently.
CHARACTERISTICS OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM
The attitudes that dwell within the mind frequently are reflected in
the conduct of a person. An inspired writer affirmed that, as one
“thinks within himself, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). Jesus Himself taught
that the state of one’s mind is the fountain of his activity. “For from
within, out of the heart of men, evil thoughts proceed” (Mark 7:21). If
an individual harbors an unhealthy view of himself/herself, such can be
manifested in a variety of distressing ways.
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It is no secret that many who are suffering from esteem problems have become victims of substance abuse.
Self-depreciation has driven some to immerse their woes in alcohol,
hard drugs, or the daily pill-popping routine. Drugs are so deceptive;
they promise much but deliver nothing—except carnage. Drug abuse is one
of the major problems of our nation, much of which stems from a
self-perceived lack of worth and a void of purpose for human existence.
Other forms of aberrant behavior also follow in the wake of unhealthy
personal attitudes.
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A professional counselor recently dropped by my office for a friendly
chat. As we discussed the many problems that seem to rob modern society
of reasonable mental health, the conversation turned to the phenomenon
of accelerated sexual promiscuity among the nation’s citizenry.
The counselor confidently affirmed that many youngsters are growing up
with no sense of personal value. In thousands of instances they have
been neglected and feel quite worthless. Many are casualties of broken
homes. Others suffer because their parents are materialistic and so busy
working long hours, and at multiple jobs (in order to have more
“things”), that they do not have the time to give their children the
loving care they so desperately need and want. Accordingly, many young
folks, starving for affection, surrender themselves (without
reservation) to anyone who is there to provide a warm hug and an
understanding heart. And the fact is, what is true for youngsters also
is the case for many adults as well. A lack of personal esteem is a
prime cause of sexual immorality. Sexual compromise itself then
frequently produces additional humiliation. It thus becomes a vicious
circle.
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A damaged self-view can result in a haughty or critical
demeanor. There are two ways some people deal with their perception of a
diminutive self-image. They may elevate themselves above others
artificially. Or, they may attempt to cut down their associates. The net
result is the same. The perpetrator ends up above his peers. For
instance, a lack of self-esteem sometimes is reflected in a person’s
exaggeration of his accomplishments. A constant tendency to boast of
one’s abilities—even to the point of lying about achievements—is a red
flag signal. “Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth”
(Proverbs 27:2). Correspondingly, the tendency to work continually at
tearing down others tells more about the character assassin than
anything else. An emotionally healthy person has no need to feed his ego
at the expense of others.
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A poor self-image sometimes manifests itself in materialism.
Some folks feel that if they can surround themselves with an abundance
of nice things, it will overcome the feeling of insecurity that seems
ever to be with them. We are not suggesting that hard-working people
cannot enjoy a quality life as good stewards of the manifold blessings
of God. What we are saying is this: The accumulation of material things
will not provide the sense of genuine well-being for which each of us
longs. Feeling good about oneself, and feeling good about possessions,
are entirely different matters. Allan Cohen is professor of management
at Babson College in Wellesley, Massachusetts. He is consultant to many
large corporations, including Chase Manhattan, Xerox, Polaroid, etc.
Professor Cohen contends: “Young people are free to conquer the
world—and they don’t want it. Material prosperity has not made life
meaningful. The hunger for love and real meaning are the forces behind
the psychedelic revolution” (as quoted in Zacharias, 1990, p. 70). Jesus
taught: “Take heed, and keep yourselves from all covetousness: for a
man’s life consists not in the abundance of the things which he
possesses” (Luke 12:15). Riches of the soul will provide you with a
sense of excellence that no bank account, home, or automobile ever can.
THE DESPAIR OF SECULARISM
Before we discuss the remedy for poor self-esteem, as set forth in the
Sacred Writings, we must observe that the world of philosophy and/or
secular psychology has utterly nothing to offer the person of low
esteem. The ideology of unbelief cannot generate any true and lasting
sense of personal dignity.
The believer may survey the wonders of God’s creation and gasp in
contemplation of the fact that all of this was made for humankind. This
was David’s sentiment in the eighth Psalm. “When I consider thy heavens,
the work of thy fingers, The moon and the stars, which thou hast
ordained;
What is man, that thou art mindful of him? And the son of man that thou visiteth him?” (3-4, emp. added). In contrast, skepticism offers nothing but the void of the material world.
In his powerful book,
Therefore Stand, the late Wilbur M. Smith
had a chapter titled: “The Pessimism of Our Contemporary Skeptics,” in
which he cited the testimony of numerous unbelievers relative to their
perceptions of human existence and worth. And what a distressing array
of complainers it was. Voltaire (the French deist, 1694-1778) said, for
example, that except for a “few sages,” the whole “crowd of human beings
is nothing but a horrible assemblage of unfortunate criminals.” He
further suggested that “the globe contains nothing but corpses.” He
concluded: “I wish I had never been born” (as quoted in Smith, 1945, p.
189). Some disposition!
David Hume (1711-1776), the Scottish philosopher who did more to
destroy faith in miracles than any other man who has ever lived, wrote:
Where am I, or what? From what causes do I derive my existence, and to
what condition shall I return?... I am confounded with all these
quotations, and begin to fancy myself in the most deplorable condition
imaginable, environed with the deepest darkness, and utterly deprived of
the use of every member and faculty (as quoted in Smith, 1945, p. 553).
Little wonder that such a dismal ideology prevails, when one entertains
the notion that he serves no real purpose upon this planet; rather, he
is merely the unfortunate offspring of the blind and bloody forces of
nature.
The English poet Matthew Arnold (1822-1888) was a militant critic of
the Bible. In spite of his hostility toward Christianity, Arnold
recognized that human existence without a sense of God is bleak indeed.
In 1867, he wrote the poem “Dover Beach,” in which he described an
environment void of an awareness of divine benevolence. Part of that
composition reads as follows:
...the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, not help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkening plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night. (1961, pp. 211-212)
Bertrand Russell, the British agnostic who did so much to oppose
biblical religion, once wrote: “...I do know the despair of my soul. I
know the great loneliness, as I wander through the world like a ghost,
speaking in tones that are not heard, lost as if I had fallen from some
other planet” (1968, p. 145). One of Russell’s biographers, in a chapter
titled, “The Religion of Sorrow,” quoted the philosopher, in a rare
moment of candor: “...the loneliness of the human soul is unendurable;
nothing can penetrate it except the highest intensity of the sort of
love that religious teachers have preached; whatever does not spring
from this motive is harmful, or at best useless” (Monk, 1996, p. 135).
There is, therefore, no need to consult the skeptic for any sense of
intrinsic human worth. His philosophy robs us of much and leaves nothing
in return. One’s self-perception certainly is not enhanced by
entertaining the notion that he is nothing more than a “naked ape”—to
borrow from the title of English zoologist Desmond Morris’ book,
The Naked Ape: A Zoologist’s Study of the Human Animal (1967).
CURE FOR DIMINISHED SELF-ESTEEM
In marked contrast to the stagnant world of secularism, biblical
revelation presents two thrilling facts which, if embraced, can provide
one with an exhilarating sense of individual excellence. The first fact
is this: Man possesses dignity by virtue of his
divine generation. The second is: Though blemished by sin, man can regain his self-esteem through the process of
spiritual regeneration. Let us probe these two points more deeply.
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Man was made in the very image of God Himself. On the sixth day
of the creation week, God said: “Let us make man in our image and after
our likeness.... And God created man in his own image, in the image of
God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:26-27;
cf. 9:6). Woman, having been fashioned from man (Genesis 2:7), also
reflects the glory of God indirectly (1 Corinthians 11:7). This
circumstance, of course, has no reference to our physical constitution,
for God is a spirit Being (John 4:24), not a physical one (Luke 24:39;
cf. Matthew 16:17). That “image” then consists of “spiritual qualities,
in man’s mental and moral attributes as a self-conscious, rational,
personal agent, capable of self-determination and obedience to moral
law” (Orr, 1939). Another writer noted that the personality is unique,
“linking us to what is above, and separating us from what is below.”
(Marais, 1939, 1:146). We are intellectual, self-conscious, volitional
creatures—designed by our Maker for fellowship with Him. Even the
ancient pagans seem to have retained a vestige of this concept. Aratus, a
Greek poet, affirmed: “We are also his offspring” (cf. Acts 17:28).
Marais thus concluded: “Psychologically and historically therefore the
Bible view [of humankind—WJ] is justified.” Can we actually fathom the
unique honor that the Creator has bestowed upon us by endowing us with
certain qualities that are intrinsic to His nature? The very
contemplation of such is enough to both humble and thrill us.
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A second fact that breathtakingly crowns human beings with a wonderful feeling of value is the fact that God bestowed His Son
as a gracious, free gift, so that every accountable person has the
potential for redemption. All that is necessary to achieve such is to
surrender to the Lord’s will (Hebrews 5:8-9). That mankind has strayed
from the Creator, and become so flawed religiously and morally, is an
indisputable fact. If humanity were reprised according to what it
deserves, eternal separation from Jehovah (a horror unimaginable) would
be its dismal lot. The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). There is,
however, a way of escape (Hebrews 2:3-4).
Throughout the New Testament, there are repeated affirmations of the
universal love of God for fallen man. God so loved the world that He
gave His only Son in order to initiate a system of forgiveness (see John
3:16). The Lord would have all men to be saved by means of coming to a
knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:4). Hear the testimony of John the
apostle: “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us
that we should be called the children of God; and such we are” (1 John
3:1). Do we really realize the value of this offer of a child-to-Father
relationship with God, as a consequence of Christ’s mission (see
Galatians 4:4-5)? Again: “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but
that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins”
(1 John 4:10). Can anyone bask in that sort of love and not feel a sense
of surpassing value?
It would be superfluous to pile up passages that announce Heaven’s
concern for the teeming masses of sinful creatures. They are found in
abundance. While we are profoundly grateful for those benevolent
declarations, one is taken to a new level of gratitude when he reflects
upon the fact that the Scriptures consistently assert the message of
God’s love for the
individual soul. In that trio of parables
given by the Lord in Luke 15—the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the lost
boy—the value of the individual person is underscored forcefully.
Heaven is not willing that anyone should perish (2 Peter 3:9). And why
not? Because the value of a single soul is worth more than the entire
world (Matthew 16:26). The apostle Paul, in discussing why we should
respect the tender consciences of our kinsmen in Christ, spoke of “
the brother
for whose sake Christ died” (1 Corinthians 8:11). Had there been but
one sinner in all the world’s history, Christ would have died for
him.
How can one savior these marvelous truths without feeling a sense of
profound awe in the divine order of things? When this concept sinks in
and takes root, all of the negative influences in the world—which tend
to generate self-deprecation—will fade, leaving us with an appreciation
of how very special we are.
There is another factor in the divine scheme of things that has long
intrigued me. I first addressed it in the autumn of 1973 at the Lubbock
Christian College Lectureship. Here are the interesting details: Prior
to His coming to Earth, the eternal, personal Word, identified in the
New Testament as Christ (John 1:1), was
equal to the First Person
of the Godhead (Philippians 2:6). However, as a component of
implementing this plan, the Word became flesh (John 1:14), thus
emptying Himself
of the “independent exercise” of the divine attributes (cf. Thiessen,
1949, p. 296). In this subordinated capacity, the Son could say: “[T]he
Father is greater than I” (John 14:28), and Paul could affirm: “[T]he
head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3). The incarnation did not
involve a forfeiture of Jesus’ deity, as some have alleged (see Barclay,
1959, p. 45), but it did entail a subordination of role, and an
identification with humanity.
This brings us to an important point. When Christ assumed His
submission-role as God-man, was that a temporary status, or was the
identity-connection
with us permanent? Again, we must express our disagreement with Barclay, who asserted: “[T]he manhood of Jesus was not permanent; He
became
man, but only for a time...” (1959, p. 46). We believe there is clear
evidence that, somehow or another, the voluntary subordination of Christ
had
permanent ramifications. Consider the following: (1) Even
though the Lord already had ascended back into heaven, Paul still was
proclaiming that He “
is [present tense verb] the
Son of God”
(Acts 9:20). (2) Again, thirty years or so after the Lord’s ascension,
the apostle refers to the Savior, our Mediator before God, as
the man,
Christ Jesus (1 Timothy 2:5). (3) The writer of Hebrews affirmed: “For
both he [Christ] that sanctifies [present participle] and they that are
sanctified [present participle] are all of one [nature]: for which cause
he is not ashamed [present tense] to call them
brothers”
(Hebrews 2:11). (4) Even in the final order of things, following “the
end,” Christ will deliver all things back to God, and He Himself be
subject to the Father (see 1 Corinthians 15:24-28). What is the
significance of this? If it is the case that the mission of the Son of
God involved an
eternal surrender of certain privileges, all for
our
benefit, it reveals a depth of divine love for us that is utterly
staggering. If that does not enhance one’s appreciation for his worth,
then nothing will.
CONCLUSION
Our hearts truly go out to those who labor under the burden of a
diminished self-image. I am not suggesting that the healing of such will
be easy or immediate. However, I confidently can offer the promise that
the solution to such an impoverished disposition does lie with the
pages of Holy Scripture. Pore over the Sacred Writings and imbibe the
messages of joy and hope found therein. It can be a life-changing
experience.
REFERENCES
Arnold, Matthew (1961 reprint),
The Poetical Works of Matthew Arnold (London: Oxford University Press).
Barclay, William (1959),
The Letters to the Philippians, Colossians, and Thessalonians (Philadelphia, PA: Westminster).
Dehoff, George W. (1956),
Why We Believe the Bible (Murfreesboro, TN: Dehoff Publications).
Marais, J.I. (1939), “Anthropology,”
International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, ed. James Orr (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans), 1:144-152.
Monk, Ray (1996),
Bertrand Russell—The Spirit of Solitude (New York: The Free Press).
Morris, Desmond (1967),
The Naked Ape: A Zoologist’s Study of the Human Animal (New York: McGraw-Hill).
Orr, James (1939), “God, Image of,”
International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, ed. James Orr (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans), 2:1264.
Russell, Bertrand (1968),
The Autobiography of Bertrand Russell (Boston, MA: Little, Brown).
Smith, Wilbur (1945),
Therefore Stand (Boston, MA: W.A. Wilde).
Theissen, Henry C. (1949),
Introductory Lectures in Systematic Theology (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans).
Zacharias, Ravi (1990),
A Shattered Visage (Brentwood, TN: Wolgemuth & Hyatt).
