Are mixed marriages sinful?
You understand, it may be very unwise for a Christian to marry a non-Christian; it may even be contrary to the will of God but we don't have the right to say it is by using texts that have nothing to do with the matter. A truth may be taught by verses A and B and C but that's no excuse for saying it's taught by verse D when D has nothing to do with the issue. It's critically important for those of us who stress the importance of having textual support for our views to make sure the texts we're using to support ours really do that!
I believe in relying on the drift of scripture or the big picture or the principle as part of our approach to learning but what can't be supported by some actual texts, well handled, should be viewed with suspicion.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18 has this trenchant opening sentence: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers." The entire paragraph is required reading. Does this text forbid marriage to a non-believer?
Paul doesn't say he's speaking of marriage
Some commentators aren't sure what else Paul means when he forbids this yoke but they're sure beyond persuasion that he means marriage even though he doesn't spell out what he has in mind. Since he doesn't say he's talking about marriage its risky business to say he is and its risky to say he isn't talking about business ventures, investment agreements or any other legal/moral agreement that a Christian could conceivably enter with a non-Christian.
The stakes are too high for us to settle for educated guesses and what makes sense. To tell sensitive, godly men and women that God forbids them to marry a non-Christian is a very serious step to take. Who knows what doors we're shutting and what hope we might be killing?
Paul deals with marriage in 1 Corinthians 7
There's no certainty that marriage is in Paul's mind in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 but we're certain he has marriage in mind in 1 Corinthians 7 where he deals with it from all angles. In the place where he expressly deals with marriage he says nothing about marriage between a believer and a non-believer being forbidden. There he even takes time to give his opinion on certain marital issues which he says they can take or leave; but he says nothing about marrying an unbeliever as an insult to God and a shaming of Jesus and his Church.
There he deals with people remaining single, he deals with widowers and widows, with divorce involving two Christians, with divorce involving a Christian and a non-Christian, with divorce where the believer does the putting away, with divorce where the believer is put away, with virgins contemplating marriage, with fathers or fiances wondering about a marriage and about widows thinking of remarrying--and more. But he says not a word about a Christian marrying a non-Christian as forbidden, nothing to suggest that a Christian who is a temple of God must not marry a non-Christian who is an idol temple. Nothing!
I accept that that doesn't settle the question about the yoke in 2 Corinthians 6:14 but--and especially in light of the fact that we can't be sure he's talking about marriage--it does appear that 1 Corinthians would have been the place to speak such strong doctrine.
1 Corinthians 6 speaks of individual Christians as temples
The above is all the more persuasive to me since he has already spoken in 1 Corinthians 6:13-20 about a Christian's body as a temple of the Holy Spirit (something he implies in 2 Corinthians 6:16). No word there about marriage to non-believers as a crime against Jesus Christ though he speaks of sexual immorality with temple prostitutes. [I'll return to the temple-prostitutes connection later.] Chapter 6 would have been the perfect place to say that marriage to a non-believer forces Jesus into union and harmony with Satan or that marriage with a non-believer was a Christian temple denigrating itself to the level of a pagan temple. [In fact, I personally know of a number of teachers who taught that 1 Corinthians 6:16 teaches that sex with a woman constitutes marriage to that woman.]
Chapter 6 would have been a perfect place to speak of marriage with a non-believer as a uniting of Christian and pagan temples; but there's not a word about that. Since that discussion is followed by a full length discussion of marriage questions it is more than surprising to find not a word about it being sinful to marry a non-Christian.
This makes it very difficult for me to believe that he speaks of marriage in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18; add to that the fact that he doesn't say he is speaking about it.
The principle of separation
But some, finding that 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 won't stand on its own to make the case on mixed marriages, appeal to "the principle of separation". They interpret the forbidden yoke on that basis.
God has always required his people to keep themselves separated from unbelievers, so its obvious he would be opposed to their marrying them.
As reflected in Ezra and Nehemiah and passages such as Deuteronomy 7:3 God forbade Israel to marry with the nations around them. The returnees from Babylon married foreign women and were led into abominable practices and this put the nation at risk. Ezra and Nehemiah required that the remnant cut off all ties with foreigners and to put away their foreign wives and so they did if they wanted to remain as part of the Israelite community (Ezra 10:1-11; Nehemiah 13:23-30).
[This might be the background to the questions about the mixed couples in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Are those married to outsiders required to terminate the marriages? might have been one of their questions (see 1 Corinthians 7:1). Paul says no! The believer was not to terminate the marriage but if the non-believer insisted on terminating the marriage the believer is to let them (a concessive imperative is used).]
There are some unresolved issues about the OT teaching on mixed marriages. There are the war-brides taken as captives by the troops and the Lord's regulation of their marital status. It might be important, too, to say that God didn't forbid Israel to marry unbelievers--he forbade them to marry foreigners, that is, the non-elect nations. Jethro and his descendants may well have been believers but would the marriage prohibition include them since they were Abraham's descendants though not the elect line? Moses marriage to a Cushite (Numbers 12:1) would perhaps need to be examined. Was she an Ethiopian or an Arabian Cushite and does that have any bearing on this matter?
Still, the marital prohibition is clear and separation is stressed!
But there's this: the separation teaching was not confined to marriage. Israel was to do nothing that promoted the welfare of foreign nations (Deuteronomy 23:6, with Ammon and Moab particularly in view). See also Exodus 34:12,15, Deuteronomy 7:3, Judges 1:272:3 and Joshua 9 and elsewhere).
There's no denying the doctrine of separation for Israel but it isn't easy to tell how far-reaching it was and how it affected the respectful aliens that lived with Israel and how Israel's separation instruction should be brought over to the Christian context.
In the NT the Christians are repeatedly taught that they're a separated people and they're called to live as separated people but that truth needs to be worked out with sensitivity and care rather than following closely Israel's model--which Christians don't, of course.
We do hear preachers say that Christians should avoid close ties with non-Christians because bad companions corrupt good morals (Paul's 1 Corinthians 15:33 has a less general point). This is sensible, especially for the young and vulnerable who wish to spend a lot of time with people who are mentally and emotionally stronger than them but there are definite limits to this kind of thing, especially since were told to live out and proclaim the gospel among the nations.
Paul firmly denies that he taught Christians not to associate with the sexually immoral or greedy or swindlers. He said he wasn't talking about non-Christians; he was talking about professing Christians! (See 1 Corinthians 5:9-11.) Then you have Jesus who was always in trouble with the good people for spending so much time with the bad people (see Luke 15:1-2).
Jesus knew all about separation but look how he lived it out! His understanding of what separation meant and why God called for it but he lived it out by forever making friends of outsiders--Jewish and foreign. So what exactly is at the heart of the separation principle?
The trouble with basing our teaching on "principles" is that principles are slippery and hard to find and even when found they have to be applied and it's the application of principles that generates serious difficulties.
God says to Israel, Don't marry foreigners and don't seek their welfare (Deuteronomy 7:3 and 23:6). Are those texts "principles" Christians are to follow or God's specific instruction for a specific people? When Ezra and Nehemiah call the nation to obey those specific instructions are they acting on "a principle" or abiding by specific teaching?
Specific instructions and universally binding principles
It's a dangerous procedure to take specific instructions and turn them into universally binding principles.
The NT calls Christians to be a separate people but the writers aren't calling on a universal principle--they are declaring the will of the Lord in a new age for his new people. How that call to separation is to be understood and lived out is a matter of heart and prayerful, careful reflection and experience in living in our world in light of Jesus Christ.
[The rich young ruler was told to sell all he had, give it to the poor and follow Jesus. Certainly there's truth in that that speaks to us in any age; but what is it exactly and how do we know what it is? Will we bind what we think it is on others without some other supporting text?]
Some people practice NT separation in such a way that they won't use modern equipment or make business agreements with people outside their own community. This may be a legitimate way to interpret separation but is it the only way? Some question even the correctness of that way. I say this only to make the point that, in practice, there is uncertainty about what separation means even among those who believe with conviction that believers should be separate.
Ezra and Nehemiah understood that God had commanded the separation of Israel--a separation that included marriage but wasn't confined to it (again, we have no grounds for thinking they thought it was a principle). How did they apply that truth of separation? They said it was to cease and they commanded Jews to divorce their foreign wives.
Is that a principle? Is their interpretation of what separation meant for Israel to be the model for Christians?
Certainly, Paul wants the Corinthians to come out from them and be separate (2 Corinthians 6:17). Is he commanding Christians to divorce their unbelieving spouses? Should we? He told Christians not to divorce their unbelieving spouses (1 Corinthians 7:12-14).
(To be continued, God enabling)
©2004 Jim McGuiggan. All materials are free to be copied and used as long as money is not being made.
Many thanks to brother Ed Healy, for allowing me to post from his website, the abiding word.com.
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