Preparing a child for baptism
With evangelicals there's quite a bit of discussion
about when children are ready to give themselves to Jesus Christ.
Setting aside discussion about infant baptism and covenant inclusion
what we have are questions like: "Is my child old enough?" "Does my
child known enough?" "Is my child mature enough?" "Does my child 'know'
what he/she is doing?" These are all sensible questions and matter a
great deal to people who are convinced that there is no covenant
relationship with Jesus Christ unless there is a personal commitment of
faith by the believer. Being one of those, and since I take the view
that infant baptism hasn't a shred of support from scripture, the
questions above do make sense.
But though
they make sense and though they do indeed matter I don't think there can
be a generalised and satisfying answer to the questions. Children are
all different! Some mature more quickly than others, some mature in some
ways more quickly than others and at the same time more slowly in other
ways. Their environments differ; their emotional make-up and their
critical experiences differ from each other. Their parents differ and
sometimes the parents aren't able to assess their children's
life-experience. It makes no sense—and everyone knows it—to say, "My
child gave her life to Jesus Christ when she was thirteen therefore all
thirteen-year olds are capable." There are too many variables in each
life for us to be able to offer blanket advice.
I'm
certain we can more easily identify extreme positions than we can offer
advice about children we know nothing about. Let me be silly just to
make my point. He who says a three-year old child is capable of a faith
commitment to Jesus Christ and he who says that no child younger than
eighteen has the capacity to render a faith-commitment to Jesus will
have no credibility with us. It isn't the extremes we have difficulty
with.
While I presently judge we can do nothing do
determine with precision when this child or that is ready to give
him/herself to Jesus in faith, we can certainly do something about
taking seriously a child's growing sense that she/he is being called by
the gospel. It simply won't do for parents to dismiss a child's
expression that he/she wants to belong to Jesus in a faith relationship.
It may well be that when my child comes saying, "I want to become a Christian" that she is responding merely to some want
to do what a friend of hers did—so as not to be left out of anything,
don't you know. Hearing someone say something that frightens her might
result in this emotional surge. (Her parents are Christ's and she has
heard something that suggests to her that if she isn't a Christian she
will never see her parents again—no wonder she wants to become a
Christian.) List your own illustrations of what I'm getting at.
But
there are times when we're uncertain about motivation even though in
our wise love for the child we think she is not yet "able" to say yes to Jesus in trust with the full consent of her heart to enter a covenant relationship.
Let's
say, for discussion's sake, that she's twelve or thirteen. She an
ordinary little girl; enjoys life, plays children's games, watches
children's television programmes and sometimes pouts like a little girl
when she's crossed. It would be easy for adults to note all that and
conclude that she isn't "adult enough" to give a heart's consent and
surrender to the Lord (especially if she still sleeps with a doll in bed
beside her).
But it's just as easy to watch adults
playing their childish games and draw a similar conclusion. See the
programs they watch, note the games they play and how they pout and sulk
if they're beaten or crossed in their desires by a spouse or a boss.
That
we wrestle with such questions is a good thing for it shows we're
interested in something vitally important and that we won't breezily
dismiss them with barely a thought. Once we come to think that this
child's conscience is awakening, that she is coming alive to the message
of the gospel and Jesus' call on her we will not (certainly should not!) airily put her off even if we remain uncertain.
We
mustn't give her the impression that her feelings and thoughts are not
to be taken seriously but we're not to give her the impression that she
is an adult. However we work with the matter it can only help her if she
knows we're anxious to give her a hearing and to help her, while we
live up to our own responsibility toward her as our child. To put her
off making a public commitment to Jesus with a few sentences while we're
watching television or heading for work or whatever should be avoided
under all circumstances but especially if she is repeatedly raising the
issue.
If the boy or the girl is persistent and anxious (that will be determined by those who are in the position to know) even if
(in our scenario) the parents are still in doubt, it might be best to
set the wheels in motion for the child's surrender to the Lord. Once all
who love the child and are in the position to know best [at least
better than anyone else] if the time is right for him/her to enter a covenant relationship with the Lord Jesus the following suggestions might be useful.
What I have to say from this point is not meant as some "this is how it should be done" program but some suggestions as to the direction I think we should go if we're to act wisely and well.
I
think the child should be told how wonderful it is that they are going
to become Christ's covenant child because he has loved them all his/her
life.
I think he/she should be told that what she/he is going to
do is a solemn and joyous commitment and that he/she must prepare for
it.
I think the church leaders should be consulted and asked for
input on what can be done to make this momentous event memorable and
substantial.
I think a period of time (maybe four to six weeks,
for perhaps thirty minutes a session) should be set aside to bring the
lovely matter to a conclusion.
I think a room in the
meeting-house (or a home other than his/her own) should be committed to
which the child travels "to prepare" herself/himself to meet the Lord.
I
think the parents and select people should be there to make the child
aware that his/her purpose is being taken with the joyful seriousness it
deserves.
I think a curriculum should be devised for the
occasion that includes foundational truths about God and the gospel and
the Body of Christ into which she/he is to be brought and received by
the Lord.
I think it should be announced to the assembly in the
presence of the child what the child is doing in preparation to give
his/her life to the Lord, and the assembly should be asked to pray for
and encourage this person at this special time.
I think when all
this heart preparation is done and the time has come to immerse this
child into a faith-union and covenant relationship with the Lord Jesus
Christ that it should be done in the presence of the entire assembly.
I
think that his/her first engagement in holy communion at the Lord's
Supper should be underscored perhaps by having them come to the front to
be served first.
Other things, little things, could be done to
emphasise "the moment". The room at the appointed time could have
his/her name put on it and the time appointed. The night before the
morning of baptism could be made a special evening in the home, some
people appointed for the purpose could call him/her and commend them to
God.
The object of it all is to focus the mind of the child and the minds of the parents and
the assembly on what is happening. My own view is that the "salvation"
and "conversion" of children in this situation is taken far too lightly,
off-handed almost, and where that occurs it's tragic.
There is more than one benefit to such a period of preparation (however it is structured). Once completed we will know that this
child wasn't simply expressing a momentary and passing emotional
desire. We will know that this child's coming to Christ in a covenant
commitment mattered not only to the child. When this boy or girl is
buried into Christ's death and rises again in Christ's
resurrection everyone will have had the opportunity to hear again cries
around the cross, the rumbling of a great grave stone and the good
news, "He is not here. He is risen just as he said."
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